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Let me
encourage you.
Although I don't
know the situation you're in, you can be assured that I understand about
being bullied. Throughout elementary and middle school I was
bullied constantly. I was made fun of, pushed around,
laughed at, and was the popular target for spit wads. I was
regularly threatened with "I'll see you after school."
I know why I was treated that way.
My family was very poor. In fact, I think I was the poorest
kid at my school. My father had died when I was very young;
therefore our living conditions were not good. Our house was
run-down.
We lacked food and I did not have nice clothes to wear. To me that was a normal life.
You can imagine why I was the target for the bullies of my school.
To the mean kids, I was the school looser. I hated going to
school for fear of what would happen to me when I got there. I
was too scared to tell my mom.
I walked to school alone, sat at lunch alone, and walked home after
school alone in fear. That was my life.
It wasn't until I received positive
encouragement from others who cared about me that my self-esteem slowly developed.
I came to realize that I was okay and that the bullying was really
the bullies' problem, not mine.
You see, all of us, from elementary
through high school, have a natural need to fit in and be accepted.
All kids want to look good to their peers. Everyone has the fear of looking stupid
and the need to be liked. Every student deals with those
needs in their own way, usually by the way they dress, act, talk, or
how they get involved in school.
Kids that bully others do so because of
that same need. They want to feel big and impress their
friends and have discovered that bullying gives them a sense
of power. And it works! What the bully
doesn't realize though is that he is marking himself, announcing to everyone,
"Look at me - I'm a bully! I have no character!" No one
will want to invite him to their parties in the future or call him
for a leadership position. Bullies are stuck
with their reputation and will continue through
life lacking
social skills and tact.
You have a far better future than the
bully. Far better. As your self-esteem and
character matures, so will your ability to build awesome friendships
and to pursue your dreams. I was not a kid that you would
expect to achieve anything great, yet I have exceeded far beyond my
biggest dreams. What's more, now I can talk confidently to
people and accomplish things that I never expected to do. And so
can you. Become focused on your dreams. Be excellent at
what you want to do, and soon after you'll be known for it.
It is amazing what excellence and character does to a person's life
- to his confidence, demeanor, and quality of friends.
Excellence and character attract people. Remember this: No
matter what your circumstances are now, what people think of you,
where you live, or what you look like - If you are most excellent
in what you do, you can achieve your dream.
Now consider how the bully thinks.
He doesn't bother with kids that are confident.
There's no fuel for his fire with those kids. What will he think if he sees that his bullying doesn't affect you?
He will no longer have the satisfaction of intimidation and victory in front of his friends. After a
while he will start looking for someone else to bully.
I did a risky but funny thing to two
bullies in forth grade who chased me every day at recess. An
older person recommended that when the bullies start chasing me, I
should stop, turn towards them and start yelling and charging at
them. The older person told me that they would run away and
never bother me again. So I tried it... and with an act of
fierce confidence! Guess what? They ran away and never
bothered me again! I would not recommend trying that in
today's world of violent kids, but it sure goes to show what a
display of confidence will do to a bullies' thinking.
Confidence and achieving excellence are
qualities that don't happen overnight. They take time and
patience. But heartfelt determination can happen overnight.
In fact, with you, I hope it has happened today. Now be
encouraged that the road ahead is not only in place, but that it
gets more rewarding with every step!
My best,
Cary Trivanovich
Bullying Assemblies
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